November-Ending Whimsy: Wouldn’t It Be Funny If . . .

Wouldn’t it be funny if . . .

Wouldn’t it be funny if
God, the divine very creator
of music itself, were tone deaf?

Wouldn’t it be funny if leaves
in autumn flew up instead of
down?

Wouldn’t it be funny if wars
were fought with masking tape
instead of guns?  (Of course, in
churches, they sometimes are –
and it isn’t always funny, even
thought it is)

Wouldn’t it be funny if in old
age we got taller, bigger – giants
would roam the land and younger
folk would whisper in something
approaching awe – she must be
really old?

Wouldn’t it be funny if human
beings slept like bats, hanging
collectively from our cave perches?

Wouldn’t it be funny if Santa took
a gift instead of leaving one?  I wonder
what he’d want from my house?

Wouldn’t it be funny if birds gave
up song for Lent?  I wonder if we’d
notice?

Wouldn’t it be funny if cease fire
simply meant that spring had come
and extra heat for our bodies were
no longer necessary – until next
fall?

Wouldn’t it be funny if Jesus
came back this time as a girl?

Wouldn’t it be funny if the turkey
trucks crossing the mountains were
taking them on a school outing or
to a concert?

Wouldn’t it be funny if hunger always
and only meant a keen desire for
knowledge?

Wouldn’t it be funny if the next war
or skirmish or battle or fight or conflict
or cease fire violation or police action or
drone strike, the one receiving the order said,
“You said ‘bomb’?  Really?  I thought for sure
you said ‘Mom’?  How do I get all those moms
back?

Wouldn’t it be funny if trees talked in a register
too high for human ears?  “Can you believe she’s
wearing those shoes?”  “I know – hard to believe she
even has a mother – who lets someone go outside
on a day like today without a scarf?”  “Shhhh!”
“Oh, for goodness sakes, they can’t hear us!”