Mad Days

I have a file of blog posts I’ve not yet posted.  Probably never will.  They’re my really angry thoughts – thoughts like why I am a feminist . . . ponderings on white privilege . . . how I listen and what it costs me . . . why I’m a (striving) pacifist (to protect you from me – the angry me) . . . how politics is a lie-filled waste of time . . . like I said – these are my (really) angry thoughts.

Most days, I’m just not that angry.

But every now and again, the toll of injustice is felt more heavily than others.  And I have no other response than anger to injustice.

Don’t agree with me on how to cook the turkey?  We can fuss over that one (I am right, you know - just admit it), but there’ll be no blows, verbal or physical.

But call yourself or myself a Christian and cheat or lie our way out of a problem?  Hurt someone else just because we can?  Refuse to acknowledge the reality of our collective injustices?  Make our problems be about the color of someone else’s skin or their gender or who they love or or or?  Yeah – those are anger provoking.

But this is not one of those days, so I back away from posting from that special file I should rename anger.

This is not a mad day.  This is a day for rejoicing.  Because little Ella, only 5 years old and already a veteran of open-heart surgery, survived.  Because a dear friend and I were able to laugh and be silly amidst her tears and breaking and broken heart.  Because being a good friend matters.  Because my family is coming for Thanksgiving – well, some of them.  Because I am alive.  Because the sun will rise and shine.  Because Maureen is on her way to do the good work of justice and she carries my heart with her.  Because the cool air and light fog of the mountains refreshes my soul.  Because I have the capacity for anger and outrage at injustice – it would be a sorry world indeed when injustice didn’t register in the consciousness.  Because I finally have an appointment to get my shaggy-dog hair cut.  Because in ways large and small, I am blessed.

May you too find your blessings in this and every day, even and especially the mad ones.