Hector

The trembling hands . . . 

his trembling hands

exist somehow separate

from him

yet give him away

this man of kind eyes

calm voice

competent presentation

a man composed –

so composed he could be

speaking of the weather

he could be – but he isn’t

But those hands –

their quaking never stops

They give him away

O Lord, where to look?

Everywhere my eyes are drawn

to his trembling hands

like Jesus’ marks

his trembling hands

are the evidence

they give him away

they give us away

________________________

Written in 2005 in Colombia, SA, while on a delegation with Christian Peacemaker Teams (CPT).  Listening to a man named Hector describe the impact of his country's violence on his life and the life of his family, I am struck by his hands, which continuously shake, betraying the seeming calm of his voice, mirroring the violence of his words.

Sower, Seed & Soil - Part 2

A parable of my own: When my son Ben lived with me, there came a time when I begged him to plant some tomato and pepper plants for me.  Ben is a good gardener – he inherited his Grandmother’s thumb.  He absolutely refused: I will not waste a moment of my life on planting anything for you, Ma. 

Imagine my hurt when I asked him why.  Because you won’t do the necessary work and we both know it.  You’ll ignore it and leave it to its own devices and it will die.  I won’t do it.  And you can’t make me.

That’s how I remember it, anyhow.

All the conditions were excellent for a good crop: good soil, plenty of sunshine, an easy source of nearby water in the form of the water hose; a willing and able sower, good seed.

What was missing was a gardener – someone to nurture and tend what was sown.

And without a good gardener, the crop would fail.

People are like the plants I wanted to plant but had no interest in maintaining: telling someone the Good News, preaching at them about what they should do, without being willing to go the distance with them, without being willing to do the hard work of persisting throughout their ‘season’, they have virtually no chance.

We cannot preach someone to heaven.  We have to walk alongside those – including ourselves – in need of God’s Word.

For how long?  For as long as it takes.

Just like Jesus.


___________________

Ben was right, of course – I would have been too unmindful to even drag the garden hose the few feet necessary to water my imaginary plants.  It’s not easy when the son becomes the teacher, let me tell you.

What Happened and What I Said About It

What happened
I agreed to officiate an out-of-town wedding for the daughter of congregants and her husband-to-be who was then deployed overseas.  The date got moved from summer to February.  His return to the United States got pushed back and pushed back.  Finally home, we ended up doing the counseling bit via Skype.  The fairly predictable snow storm arrived in due course and so parents and I left a day early so as not to be stuck this side of the mountains.  Upon arrival at our hotel, forgetting that Virginia Beach is in the heart of the military-industrial complex, I was momentarily startled to see three men in military garb on balconies across the way apparently getting a bead on me (turned out they were wax figures at a local souvenir shop).  Family and friends gathered from near and far . . . stories were told . . . laughter and tears were had . . . the sun shone on the appointed day . . . nobody lost the marriage license or the rings . . . mama of the bride navigated the sand just fine with her newly accompanying cane . . . bride and groom shone like stars, as they do . . . the deed was done and all was well.

What I said
I did a wedding this weekend.

What happened
Maxine got very sick and spent many months battling leukemia, losing her struggle by inches with family and friends holding her up, she who held them up for so long, throughout.  In the last weeks, I spent more and more time at the house as those closer and closer struggled to learn the language of the dying, trying to be present when needed and to step aside when not.  We, all of us, held hands, laughed, cried, talked, whispered, ministered to, sang, and fell into silence.  And we prayed.  And she died.  And tomorrow we will observe the rituals of farewell and witness the resurrection and lay her to rest and eat a life-affirming meal together.  It will be a hard day, a necessary day, the day we bury Maxine.

What I said
Maxine died.

What happened
Maxine was dying.

What I said
I’m sorry I missed Leah’s birthday party.  Did you save me any cake?

There are so many deaths in a lifetime, so many endings . . . and but for this time in Maxine’s journey, I would not think of a wedding as a death, an ending . . . yet it is . . . an ending to one way of being even as another, more desired, way begins.  Harder to see, so it is with death . . . an ending that is yet another beginning . . . one not desired, for we were made to rejoice in this life, to cling to it, to hold fast beyond all sense or reason sometimes . . .

In a span of days, one woman stood witness to the joining of Rachel and Vince into a lifetime of shared joys and sorrows, challenges and victories . . . to treasured Leah celebrating her one-year anniversary on this earth . . . and to Maxine’s dying surrounded by all who would keep her if they but could . . . letting her go in one final act of loving kindness . . .

What happened was life.  What I said about it was life too, for so much living is captured in so few words . . . they were married . . . she died . . . happy birthday . . . 

Hard-Learned Lesson from Applebee’s

“I give God 10%.  Why do you get 18?”  

So someone apparently wrote on their bill at Applebee’s recently.  Referring to the tithe, it would appear that the guest is a Christian, bolstered by writing ‘pastor’ on the bill as well.  ABC News

Another waitress took a photo of the check and posted it online and it’s gone viral.  That waitress has been fired.

Set aside for the moment whether she should have been.  Set aside the reality that wait staff receive (by law) far less than minimum wage because of the tips they receive.  Set aside the report that the guest demanded that the responsible employees be fired.

Consider instead, particularly we Christians reading this, the idea of transparency in all we do.

Should not our claimed biblical model for life lead us to only think, write, say, and do, that which we would have no problem being broadcast to the world?  Should we not be willing to have our acts, our lives, written on a t-shirt and worn for all to see?

It seems that far too often, we wear our crosses and other indicia of our faith boldly for all to see, forgetting somehow that our behavior is a far more eloquent testimony to our faith and our Lord than our bling.

Don’t leave a tip or leave a mean one, for no fault of the server?  Our Lord is a cheapskate.

Complain when someone tells the truth – even a painful truth – about you?  Our Lord cannot handle truth.

Refuse tipping out of an ignorant misunderstanding of how wages work in the serving industry?  Our Lord doesn’t know anything of the real-world economic challenges of real-world people.

People of faith, it’s as simple as this: we are not to live anonymously.  We are to live loudly and boldly, proclaiming the love, mercy, understanding, compassion, justice, and even humor, of our risen Lord every second of every minute of every day of our lives.

And when we fail, as we surely will, we’re not to blame others; rather, we’re to seek forgiveness and do better the next time.

So today I am going to be a better co-driver on the highways of life – taking turns, being patient with the slower, allowing room and space for others to travel at their own pace.  I'm going to try to live my life as if the whole world is watching, because they are.

How about you?

Where Levi Walked

In a little while, I will go and
stand with family and friends
as they remember their Levi,
gone a year now – was it today?

I will watch they who watched
Levi go from boy to man
they who hold the picture memories
so close in their hearts – always
the smiles are what grab and hold

smiling Levi holding a crab up
to the camera . . . smiling Levi
posing for the senior picture
perfect moment picture –
so much more important
than he could have ever guessed

It is that smile I remember
on the face of the boy-man
I barely knew but who
inhabits my refrigerator along
with so many others still here,
smiling new picture memories

I will go to the woods today
I will walk where Levi walked
and I will stand – for a time –
with those who love him best –
witness to their love, their loss