Tuesday, August 20, 2013

Preacher Love: Some Days It’s Harder Than Others

It’s easy to love the loveable.  That’s as true for preacher-people as it is for anyone else.  The hard part is to love the unloveable.  And that’s harder, sometimes, for the preacher-person than other folk.

Why would I say that?  Aren’t preacher-people in the loving business?


And that, I think, is what makes it so much harder.  Because it’s a supposed to thing for us.

So when someone is weird or jerky to me, there’s an unspoken assumption by everyone (me included) that somehow I’m supposed to be above it all, impervious to the slings and arrows.

Turns out I’m not.

And sometimes, because of that unspoken assumption, people give themselves permission to behave in ways towards me that they would no one else on earth.

That stinks.

So with all the shoulds swirling around my head, I sometimes (often) forget the basics:

1. Loving is a get to, not a have to, thing.

2. Allies are essential in the loving business and should be chosen wisely and well.

3. Sometimes I’ll get it wrong.  It’s not the end of the world.

4. A preacher is not another order of being.  I am as flawed and inspired as the next person.  That’s as it should be.

5. Some people need loving, but they don’t need it from me.  I am not anyone’s savior and sometimes, I’m not even the one to be that person’s friend or confidant.  Sometimes the need must be met elsewhere.  And that too is as it should be.

6. Letting go is not saying the problem is insoluable.  Letting go is saying not me, not today.

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