Peace with Me

I am my own worst friend
and best enemy

is it that way with you?

I love and hate me all at once
and it is not good

for the voices in my head
ringing the I’m-not-worthy
repeating knell are not mine
and not God’s – no, they are
yours – and whether you think
so or not, I hear them loud
and I hear them clear

and I know better than to
heed them but in the just
now of things when the armor
is worn thin and the body and
mind are tired, I have no
defense, no safe haven I can
find even as I know it’s there

like the other night when
sleep driven I could not find
the door knob in the dark
(who loses the door knob
in the dark?)

still, even, yet, but, though
the voices be yours, the
war is not with you but
with me – the struggle
is not to defeat you but
me – the worst casualties
are not yours but my own –
as I take on board your
vision of the me I know
and in taking on, forget
the me God knows, loves
and proclaims good

isn’t that a sin?