My friend Stu, Stuart F. Hammel, late of Reading, Pennsylvania, died yesterday morning at 3.52 a.m., lying in his family bed, with his wife Twila holding his hand and whispering reassurance into his ear.
What keeps coming to me as I think about such things as life and death and the singularity that was Stu is exactly that . . . Stu was a singular guy.
He was my college professor and debate coach more than 35 years ago. Naturally, I harken back to those times . . . truly halcyon days in our lives, Stu and Twila and me.
I think on Stu and cast about, trying to define Stu’s place in my own life . . . college was such a foundational time, but it was so very long ago . . . how can I recapture that time? Those feelings? The defining beginning of a tapestry that would weave our lives, together and mostly, separately?
This is what I come to: Stuart Frederick Hammel was a man who looked at people and decided about them . . . and what he decided was whether they were worth knowing . . . worth adding to the Stu Hammel ‘collection’.
And for some reason, Stu decided that I was someone worth knowing and worth knowing better.
That’s quite a gift to give someone: the belief that in your eyes, they are worth knowing and over time, worth knowing better.
I hope you have such people in your own life.
For one, I am so very, very, grateful that I had a Stu . . . no, the Stu, in my life, deciding that I am worth being known.
Thank you, dear friend. May your eternal rest be all that I imagine it can be and so much more.
______________________
Stu's obituary
For more on Thin places (the places where we feel our closest connections to God and the cosmos), check out Iona's web site.
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| Stu at the Golden Gate bridge - one of Stu's 'thin places' |
He was my college professor and debate coach more than 35 years ago. Naturally, I harken back to those times . . . truly halcyon days in our lives, Stu and Twila and me.
I think on Stu and cast about, trying to define Stu’s place in my own life . . . college was such a foundational time, but it was so very long ago . . . how can I recapture that time? Those feelings? The defining beginning of a tapestry that would weave our lives, together and mostly, separately?
This is what I come to: Stuart Frederick Hammel was a man who looked at people and decided about them . . . and what he decided was whether they were worth knowing . . . worth adding to the Stu Hammel ‘collection’.
And for some reason, Stu decided that I was someone worth knowing and worth knowing better.
That’s quite a gift to give someone: the belief that in your eyes, they are worth knowing and over time, worth knowing better.
I hope you have such people in your own life.
For one, I am so very, very, grateful that I had a Stu . . . no, the Stu, in my life, deciding that I am worth being known.
Thank you, dear friend. May your eternal rest be all that I imagine it can be and so much more.
______________________
Stu's obituary
For more on Thin places (the places where we feel our closest connections to God and the cosmos), check out Iona's web site.
When you hurt....many of us hurt with you...remember that we love you ...please give some of that love to your friends in pa for us .....ann
ReplyDeleteLove you Beth and holding you in love across the miles. You, too, are pretty singular, girlfriend. x
ReplyDeleteBeth,
ReplyDeleteWhat beautiful words about my brother. I've only begun to really know you since all this has happened to Stu. I want you to know I love you very much & thank you for all you did for him & are doing for Twila & the rest of our family. You are our angel.
Love,
Lauren