Showing posts with label AA. Show all posts
Showing posts with label AA. Show all posts

Saturday, September 7, 2013

Of No Reputation

We humans, and particularly we Christians, spend (translate: waste) an awful lot of time when we worry about our reputations.  The King James version of Phillippians reminds us, “Let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus:  Who, being in the form of God, thought it not robbery to be equal with God:  But made himself of no reputation, and took upon him the form of a servant, and was made in the likeness of men . . .”   –Philippians 2.5-7 (KJV).

Jesus has absolutely no concern about his own reputation.  If he had, he would have avoided many of those with whom he consorted.  And not just the obvious ones like the women everyone loves to paint as whores.  The fishermen added nothing to Jesus’ gloss.  They brought nothing to the table in terms of Jesus’ cred (well, except for his street cred, of course – in some places, fishermen are cool).

If our ‘credibility’ as a nation is in the top 5 reasons to bomb Syria (and it is: recall the ‘red line’ language – the President is challenged to bomb because he said he would; and he has responded that he will because he said he would), we’re in big moral trouble.

As I’ve quoted before from an old-timer in AA, what other people think about me is none of my business.

To kill other people, to destroy their homes, their possessions, their land, for the sake of what other people will think about me (whether I be an individual or a nation) is nonsense of the basest kind.

It is factually flawed, for it presumes that the destruction will shape the opinions of others towards me in the direction I intend (which almost never happens).

It’s the childhood myth that I am center stage and that I control the thoughts/choices/actions of others in the drama of events that I (mistakenly) believe I can control.  It grants no freedom of choice/action/thought to the other, whoever that may be – the intended ‘target’ of my action.

It’s the unwillingness to even consider changing my mind or admitting I made a foolish commitment in the first place.  Or to borrow from Ralph Waldo Emerson, a foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds.

It is to presuppose that I can measure such things as reputation, which I cannot.

It is to presuppose being of my word to be more important than the lives of others. [Read the story of Jepthah and the sacrifice of his daughter for the sake of his (unsought) promise to God in Judges 11 for a heart-breaking lesson in kept promises].

For those among us who claim to follow The Way, we forget Jesus’ example of discounting his reputation for the sake of others at the peril of being not followers of His Way, but of our own.

Friday, August 16, 2013

What Other People Say About Me Is None of My Business

Someone once dear to me returned from one of his first meetings at Alcoholics Anonymous and reported that a woman there had made the statement, what other people say about me is none of my business. 

We laughed together at her ignorance, so sure of our superior wisdom.  Boy, were we stupid.  Turns out she was right, that wise AA old timer.

It can sound silly, can’t it?  If it’s not my business, whose on earth would it be?  Isn’t anything that’s about me by its very nature my business?  Sure.  But here’s the thing: what other people say about me isn’t about me at all.  It’s about them.  What they think.  How they see.  What they understand – or don’t.

What I speak of others betrays my mind, my heart, my deeds, not theirs.

It’s so freeing to be rid of the desire for reputation.  It’s freeing not to have to worry about the whispers of others.  It’s freeing not to have to respond to the accusations or assessments of others.  It’s freeing to allow others, as friend and pastor Mark Davis recently observed, to think anything they like about me . . . to judge however fairly or unfairly they will . . . to simply allow others to think that I am an idiot if they so choose and be none the worse for it.

What others think and say about me is none of my business.

Now that’s worthy of a cross-stitch.

I think I’ll add it, coming to a total of two my imperatives for this stage of my life:

1. I might be wrong.
2. What others say about me is none of my business.

***

“Who steals my purse, steals trash . . .  but he that filches from me my good name robs me of that which not enriches him and makes me poor indeed.”  –William Shakespeare [Iago in Othello].  The irony is that Iago means to do exactly that – steal the good reputation of Cassio in the eyes of Othello.

With enough courage, you can do without a reputation.  –Oscar Wilde

“Let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus:  Who, being in the form of God, thought it not robbery to be equal with God:  But made himself of no reputation, and took upon him the form of a servant, and was made in the likeness of men . . .”   –Philippians 2.5-7 (KJV).